They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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