I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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