Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
FUCK WHALES
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
