His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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