There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Welp...herpes.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
