I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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