I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
