I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
