Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm really busy with my period
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