I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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