You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
