it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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