i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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