i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
