I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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