Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
