No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
