this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
