so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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