No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
