We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
