never play flip cup with pint glasses
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
But theres a keg here and me gusta
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize