I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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