she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it was like eating out sand paper
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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