im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
