Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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