A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize