My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
