Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
