can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
