Non-Jews are for practice
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
