In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize