my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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