Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize