wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
