One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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