I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
