Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
