Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
