He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
