I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize