I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize