Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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