last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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