Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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