Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize