my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
3pm strippers are depressing
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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