we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
