i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
