So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Two words: blizzard sex
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
