if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
