He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
