I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You smell like a Billy Joel song
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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