Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
