a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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