i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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