remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize