plz talk dirty to me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
