Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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