I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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