You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
