"it" just moved
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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