I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
