You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
