your room smells of hookers.
And success
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
