Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize