I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He better not be in your backpack
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
