end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
