I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
