The maid of honor just puked.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
