And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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