have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
