The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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