Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
