I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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