Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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