so explain again why im purple
no
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
nutella sex= disaster
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
